“lebenslanger Schicksalsschatz”

“lebenslanger Schicksalsschatz”. It means “lifelong destiny treasure” in German. 

How I Met Your Mother, Season 8, Episode 1. A man has left a woman at the altar, and when the protagonist (Ted) asks why he left her, the man replies that she was not his lifelong destiny treasure. She was wonderful, but not quite the lifelong destiny treasure. 

While this is happening, the elusive “mother” that Ted is always searching for appears, carrying the trademark yellow umbrella. Several times How I Met Your Mother has shown a glimpse of the mother or offered clues – often having something to do with a yellow umbrella. Throughout the series, whenever a yellow umbrella is shown, it is a clue that the mother is near – it is that thing that tells us viewers that Ted is still on his way. 

I have a love/hate relationship with this show. I love the tongue-in-cheek, inappropriate comedy, but I hate that the show displays a relatable protagonist who is convinced that he’ll be happy when he meets “her”.

When I watch the show, I get too caught up in the chase for the yellow umbrella. I get sucked into Ted’s adventure, yearning to discover the identity of the mother.

Throughout the series, Ted has multiple beautiful relationships, but after the breakup they’re simply chalked up to the road he traveled to get to the love of his life.

I think Ted’s missing the picture.

And this all seems cheesy, but I get stuck chasing that yellow umbrella. And I’m not just talking in relationships.

When I read a book, it becomes a mission to finish the book. I’ve never been good at simply taking my time and enjoying each page. I’m not happy until I’ve finished it.

And in my career, I get a promotion – and I look to the next one. 

When I’m driving, it’s a mission to get to where I want to be. 

And when I got my apartment, I immediately started planning to buy a house.

None of these things are bad. Finishing a book is kind of the point of beginning. Career advancements lead to new opportunities. We get into a car with the intention of ending up somewhere else. And buying a house is certainly a better investment than renting an apartment.

But I get stuck focusing on that yellow umbrella, instead of simply being. I forget to enjoy the book, to enjoy my job, to enjoy the drive, to enjoy the apartment, because I’m convinced that I’ll be happy when I get to the “next”. 

I’ve learned a lot about this from my cat. My cat can and will sleep anywhere, to my disgruntlement. But he will find a spot and sleep until he wakes up, for whatever reason. Then he moves to a new spot and continues napping. But when he sleeps, he appears content (anthropomorphizing, yes). He isn’t concerned about his next napping place. 

Paul talks about worry and not long after contentment. I think this is similar. When I’m chasing yellow umbrellas I become irritable, restless, and discontent. I am unable to be happy in the moment because I am convinced that the next thing will make me happy.

But when I focus on enjoying the day I find that I’ve got my yellow umbrella. Things may change, but I think the yellow umbrella is a state rather than a situation. It isn’t what we have, but it’s how we view the world.